Hodie mihi, cras Howie

Dear Dr. Bones,

Hodie mihi, cras Howie. Howard Lawrence Lewis (an/or "Howard Louis Laurence") runs a Death Pool, so for his freelordship to make these little nursin-house jokes is low-level professional practice, like a pianist playing scales and arpeggio(e)s. Not like, say, Howie eatin his political peas with a knife just to rile the H*rv*rds. Still, Time and Dr. Alzheimer and ... what's-his-name? ... will not be making special exceptions just because nobody can find the whight birth certificate. His freelordship is already in the sixty-first year of his exemplary self-existence, 'exemplary' assuming one prefers that sort of example. And "self-" because of course Massa Howie built himself from scratch, utterly undefiled by Affirmative Action. Or the laws of physics. Or . . . . It is worth pointing out, though not here, that his freelordship is already too closely subsenile to be able to look forwards to SmirkCare, properly speakin. The premium-support or voucher scheme will only create the medical happiness of those under the age of fifty-five at (I presume) the date of its enactment. (Which may Father Zeus forfend!) Like it or not, then, on the dark day when Massa Howie finally totters into the nursin house himself personally, we the taxpayers will be robbed to pay the dole. Doubtless his freelordship will NOT like it, DOUBTLESS his freelordship will protest vehemently that he would much rather those who worked all their lives, played by the rules, yimmer yammer, never asked for a yada, should not have to fund the senility an imbecility of H. L. L. Carr. But protest won't do his freelordship any good, I fear, for these arrangements are not left up to the whim of the individual geezer. And that won't change even when the Smirk of Janesville becomes dictator in its own whight, startin in January 2021 after Mittius Coriolanus Pompo has been carted out to pasture with Lady Rafalca. At that point, his freelordship will have been suckin at the Fedguv trough for at least four years, probably rather more. (( H. L. L. Carr )) Meanwhile his freelordship seems a little neglectful of his own groupies, who consist chiefly (IOAO) of the circle of Archie Bunker's crusty greatuncle, you know, the one who still had the Gaelic back before that mean Dr. Alsoranner finally took it away from him (along with most of the English) sometime about 1937. Paddy and Eye have no idea where the cuttin-edge brat pack -- THE Bestembrightest, as his ladyship was forever flatterin em -- have gone now that they cannot sip (chaw?) tee putty with (( Jasonne, Duchessa Sanseverino-Wellesley )) every weekday afternoon at 1500 hours.. WRKO AM 680 is not likely to be the younger degeneration's new Mecca. Kind of a pity that La Sanseverino won't be available to explain to Paddy and Eye, as the Great G.O.P. G-hod of 1433 (the former 2012) climaxes, exactly what Fabulous Fernie would do next for Coriolanus Pompo an Senator Fratboy -- if only poor Fernie were half as bestembright as her lordship is himself. As the degenerated have been informed many times, Wendell Wilkie would not be where he is now, was it not for Il Sanseverina. Eye digresses. Though not more than his freelordship does, draggin in Alcalde Antonio Ramón Villaraigosa (nacido Antonio Ramon Villar el 23 de enero de 1953) . He's got us doing it too. Talk about 'exemplary'! Happy days.

Ordinarily, Dr. Bones, we would not waste your time and the Muses’ with anything dredged up from so far down in the e-gutter of reaction as The Fehrnstrom Fishwrap.

This morning, though, it appears that the Thought Police are out in force. In fact, after the peanuts started wonderin’ in subsequent posts why one of their number, supposedly innocent, had been clobbered, the ideocops cleared the whole gallery so we are back to "(0) comments" on a silly scribble concerning which there had been more than fit on one page an hour or two earlier. (( The time is now [08/28/2012 06:01] -- obviously everything of this sort has to be datestamped carefully. ))  (( UPDATE [08/28/2012 06:14] -- two comments, both from the same peanut, one ‘j5truth’ )) 

So Paddy and Eye hope you won't mind holding on to this item for us just in case it evaporates over where it fits in.

On a related front, we have been making progress with our research into the mysterious behavior of the Heraldic whightware.  Just now we established that simply changing "Ramón" to Ramo'n" made the whole of the above McScribble acceptable to the mechanical branch of the Th. P. Naturally a more humanoid neocensor could probably work out eventually that it comes to the same thing.

On the other hand, perhaps it does not.   Presumably your echt crimmigrant or criminalien or ‘Spaniard’ would never in a million moons resort to our far-fetched and klutzy orthography, so in a certain sense the whightists did indeed manage to keep out the Indocumetado language, which Paddy and Eye were, of course, rather citing from a distance than actually deploying.

Next on the e-genda is to find out whether the Thought Police dig gràvès, to which Indocumentol happens not to run.

Moreover, we mean to take a look at the whightists’ shysters’ own "Terms an Conditions" for peanut-gallery peanuts,  to see whether "¡DOGS and SPANISH need not apply¡" would be permissible if *we* barked it.

Happy days.
--JHM

P.S.  The way we are headed, the smûggled circumfl'e'x will be rather ridiculous than sublime.