27 December 2012

Comrade Eagan Perseveres

Dear Dr. Bones,

The hired hands over to The Frathouse Fishwrap seem uncertain (not verified) that their own Employin Corporation's St. Bridgit of the Lace Curtain actually scribbled this scribble. The Muses and you, sir, and Eye and Paddy have, of course, long known how much Her Beatitude enjoys doin her Rosa Luxemburg impersonation. To question the authenticity is absurd. It is pleasant to find that Radical Eaganitarianism has survived the shipwreck of Mittius Coriolanus Pompo an The Smirk o' Janesville.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012 -- Anonymous (not verified)
Margery Eagan [1]
Margery Eagan [2]
Thursday, December 27, 2012

Vicki’s the right woman for the job

I say run, Vicki, run! (( &c. &c. ))

Now what Paddy decided to (mostly) spare the Fishwrappers an their peanut-gallery peanuts runs as follows:

Paddy McTammany does not exactly AGREE with St. Bridgit of the Lace Curtain here, but there is a certain convergence for once. Paddy is, as me johnhancock de guerre proudly proclaims, a Demoncrat first, and ... and what comes second is unimportant.

You will have worked out (just from this scribble, but there is lots more on the record) that H.B. is some oddly-blended Ratzingerite feminist, interested in Citizeness Kennedy because (firstly) it is a 'she' and (secondly) because it is a correligiatrix, and not at all (as far as Eye can make out) because ¡The Party of K*nn*dy is the Party of America!

Oops, that was the NON convergence. Eye begs your pardon. The fun part is "a tough, good ol’ boy Louisiana political clan ... Phi Beta Kappa out of Tulane, summa cum laude from its law school and known as a relentless negotiator settling banking and bankruptcy cases in the Washington, D.C., law firm." Team that C.V. up with that of 'Foxohantas' and, !begorrah!, the Fearless Funders of Freedumb may well lose their freelordly epithet. ¡Imagine TWO such J.D.-equipped harpies

Liz & Vicky

descending uninvited on ScroogeBank, or BainCap, or Warbucks Defense Widget, or Messrs. les frères Koch!

It works both ways, of course: the Scroogies an the Kochoholics with all their conservile scabs an lackeys an all the Whight Host of Rupertoids are bound to see the spread-eagled vickysaurus comin for em an make some really neoheroic efforts to repurchase a People’s Seat™ for Senator-Reject Fehrnstrom

Fabulous Fehriie!

an The Shirtless Cosmopolitan. Ah, well: ¡May the plushest and flushest carpetbags win!

¡Y permitanme VVd. desearles "Happy days."!

19 December 2012

Mau-Mauing _The Fishhouse Fratwrap_ (continued)

Dear Dr. Bones,

The joke is nearly as old as the hills, but it remains amusing to watch trailer-trash serviles an conserviles pride themselves on bein far shrewder than Lieberals an Demoncrats an H*rv*rds an Massa Howie's "Booty-Full People." [*]

December 18, 2012 - 11:19am
By Associated Press

(( ... snip text, move whight on to peanut gallery ... ))

Boehner should [hire] a ghost writer who claims to be a prominent Democrat, then Harry Reid might attempt to read it. If Boehner were to send a bill up to the Senate that was plagiarized from Elizabeth Warren, Reid would still table it if he thought a Republican wrote it. Nice way for the Senate Majority Leader to 'compromise'. You Demobrats should be ashamed of your leadership.

Posted 20 hours 5 min ago (( 12/19/2012 07:56 ))

Ad quem responduisset Patricius McTammany

(P1) It's true that the Comrade Majority Leader is, or possibly just takes care to appear to be, trying to give mental mediocrity its day in the political sun. Alas, Senator Reid does more resemble Senator-Reject Fehrnstrom an his Charlie McCarthy, the Shirtless Cosmopolitan, than he resembles Albert Einstein and Senator-Elect Warren, bestembrightnesswise.

(P2) But that's only in idiot-general. Specifically as regards the latest scabbery from Johannes Freiherr von Böhner, a donkey would have to be comatose to be fooled by relabeling. Stand-up guys for the Fearless Funders of Freedumb an for their firstlordships' Classmates an Class interest -- stout neoheroes who stand up for TopPercenterdom in the way and to the extent that the Party of Grant and Hoover (& ... & Carr & Tarr & Fattheadlund) have always stuck up for em -- speaks for itself. What it says is "I play the astroturfbagpipe, Massa. ?Which song shall it be this evenin?"

(P3) Happy days.

(PS) A little goosey-gander therapy works well here: though the Stooopid Party has long been unmasked for what it is, yet I betcha very few Congressional wads of Tee Putty would vote for an increase in Ponzi Security handouts, say, or for an attempt to protect patients and render medicine affordable, simply on the grounds that The Smirk o' Janesville or James Freelord DeMint, the Heritagitarian Hogen-Mogen, were supposedly sponsorin these bills. Most of the Republicanine kennel can scarcely be accused of *thinkin* for themselves, yet inarticulate animal instinct (IAI) does go some way to make up for one's bein cleverness-challenged.

Moreover, nobooby who calls meself "Paddy McTammany" believes that a Party of Pure Cleverness would last ten days. Hormones and IAI and cheering mostly for the color of the jerseys -- "cupboard love" even, in moderation -- have a major role to play . An undispensable rôle. Though naturally all these sewer-of-Romulus things work out better when WE (good guys) do them.

Happy days.

The (P1) ... (P2) ... (P3) ... baloney is there due to the Fratwrappers' new whightware, which makes it impossible to compose more than one paragraph. The object, I guess, is to muzzle that icky thought stuff but allow the home-team hormone-basers of Louisedayhicksville enough latitude in which to boooo an hissss.

It appears, though, that letters with diacritics -- especially such as appear in the Muttersprache of Señoras las indocumentadas y Señores los crimenajenos -- are still strengst verboten. ¡But Hengist knows best!

Happy days.

[*] "Booty-full people" is rather more tiefgehend than you perhaps see at once, Dr. Bones.

Massa Howie's ambidexterous contempt an resentment gainst both TopPercenters an Bad Poor is a matter of his freelordship supposin that both are somehow makin off with more booty than Howie an the Whight B'hoys can get their paws on. Indeed, a definer could define that blessèd and mysterious soundbark "The Middle Class" in such a way as to make Howard Louis (?) Lawrence (??) Caaa the ideal TMC poster b'hoy. What his freelordship would be located whight in the middle of, however, would not be equal numbers of detested swindlers above an below, but rather hatreds of equal psychological intensity. Since there are of course many more affirmatively loathsome Bad Poor below Massa Howie's home level than undeservin "beautiful people" above it, on a _per capita_ basis, BeePees overhead are, in a way, Howie-hated worse than are BeePees under the jackboot.

Eye and Paddy realize, though, that this sort of subjectivity is not much use for detailed analysis. In that resepect, it is like the rationale for progressive taxation that hinges on the supposed psychological utility of the last buck old Ebb Scrooge, or young Ollie Warbucks, or mediocre Massa Howie -- any of The Classma™es or their scabs -- get hold of at the margin. Still, though this 'utility' cannot be quantified reliably, it certainly in some sense exists and can, we think, afford a sound enough basis for us mere moralisers to be getting on with.

Let us know what you think, please, if it be not too much trouble.

18 December 2012

Pscenarios for an Institution

Dear Dr. Bones,

’Tis allegator tears time again at the G.O.P. Corral:

Allegator Tears
(( "¡Qué lástima!" ))

That is to say, Paddy has just spotted a Blue Blazer who with supreme (?) self-altruism worries about the fate of our local boondocks franchise of America’s Otherparty:

Republican State Committee Chairman Election Coming Up
kate | Mon, Dec 17, 2012 2:18 AM EST

Anyone have any thoughts on the Chairmanship of the Republican State Committee? It looks like a number of candidates are in the mix. I was reminded of David’s post from four years ago.
Any insights from our friends on the other side of the aisle?

Comrade Kravitz’ post referred to "... a MA statute requiring political parties to select a chairman within 10 days after presidential elections (...) Who’s running the GOP ship, such as it is? Are they flouting state law in refusing to select a chairman within the statutorily-required time? What has happened to the party of law ’n’ order?" (( &c. &c. ))

One hopes not to get decoyed off on some dotty Rulalaw tangent, naturally, but let Paddy at least point out

(A) that whoever may be producin an directin

(( The Wreck of the ‘Fehrnstrom’ ))

at the moment, it definitely ain’t the BoZo Skipper, who has neglected the WhightGuard Officers Mess shamelessly of late. In forty-three (43?) days since Blue Tuesday, Breitbartius Junior has managed to emit a single (1.0) "Five Things Yoo should know today." !Yoo Thin productivity is down on a positively Hooverworthy scale! It ought to be 5.0 per diem -- 3.57, if one assume that his freelordship goes off yachtin religiously on palaeosabbaths an neosabbaths -- but what we actually have is a paltry 02.33 Yoo Items. ¡Tusk, tusk!
To be sure, the BoZo Skipper never put himself under any obligation to the General Court of the sort that (according to Comrade Kravitz, Esq.) the Bozo Community as a whole have. His freelordship never promised even the ensigns an J.G.’s of his own wardroom a five-yoogramme daily dose. ¡Irresponsible an unaccountable an perfectly safe from litigation is Breitbartius Junior! The ensigns an J. G.’s, by the way, don’t seem to be doin any better than usual at gettin a word of their own in edgewise. When the BoZo Skipper sulks, the Officers Mess sulks whight along with their master, willy-nilly. And ¡what a sulk it has been! Why, it seems an eternity since his freelordship last whined bout Comrade Kravitz, Esq., obnoxiously refusing to discuss Perfesser (as She then was) Foxochantas’ license to practice law in Massachusetts. (The last whimper dates from 25 October 2012, if you believe the WhightGuard search engine.)

who has given us only one (1.0) Five Point Plan in

Ad quem responduisset Patricius McTammany

(( Potential or actual or esprit-d’escalier kneejerk occasioned by the Blue Challenge )) Happy days.

(( Concluding unscientific postscript )) Happy days. --JHM

07 December 2012

Good Queen BHES

Dear Dr. Bones,

Rachelle leur belle got me a little carried away, maybe.

(royalrooter ? +1 -32

Got to laugh at the G.O.P. again with these so called recess appointees. Just google up how many W had of these and you'll see he had the most of any POTUS by far. Obama is way behind that number. The G.O.P. and the [Frathouse Fishwrap] continue their unheralded (sic) attacks on issues they know nothing about or do any homework on. Just throw as much crap against the wall to see what will stick.

Posted 8 hours ago (( 12/07/2012 09:16 ))

Ad quem responduisset Patricius McTammany

Paddy McTammany will upthumb that one.

As usual, though, there can be no question of complete agreement such as obtains in the typical flock of whight-winged nutbats. "Rugged conformists" the critters call themselves, or somethin like that.

Anyhow, when dining at the WhightGuard Officers Mess, even here in its kitchen or EM Club or whatever this e-outhouse is called, it is far from adequate to point out that neogentry like Mlle. de la Main Invisible (a.k.a. "the B*st*n H*r*ld Editorial Staff") did not honor the assembled company with her freeladyship's Kiddie Konstitution vapors when Richard Bruce, late Vicepotus Cheney, acted for George XLIII in a becominly superimperial fashion.

"Yoo thinks it is OK when Yoo does it" is an impeccable analysis of the Mind of the Wingnut(ette), I admit, but unfortunately it is pretty near useless in practice.

The very last thin Yoo ever does is to let Herself slip into the cheapjack goosey-gander bleedin-heart mindset that such an analysis imposes upon Corrugated Individualism™ without so much as an insincere by-your-leave. At Hooverville, or Rio Limbaugh, or Louisedayhicksville -- insofar as LDHV is a farm team for The Fehrnstrom Fishwrap an B'hessy Staff, fishwraptorialist extraordinaire-- the effective maxim is somethin like "!It is simply no business of anybooby else's what Yoo does!" [*]

All the doins of Yoo, that is, are like that famous superdoin of A. R. 1421-2000-5761 called "Bush v. Gore" -- they settle the immediate controversy, they allow Neocomrade Dealer to take the trick on the table an win the tie (or win the non-tie; whatever), BUT they are not to be adduced ever again as precedent. The Bney/Bno^th Yoo are above precedent.

!Exalted FAR above mere terrestrial precedent are their freelordships! As the late Bishop Warburton profoundly remarked, "We know that all things (in the Yooish history) were extraordinary, and nothing to be brought to example any more than to imitation."

One is not likely to find any operative of the Stooopid Party, even in quarters far tonier that The Fishwrap, expressin the matter as eloquently as his lordship of Gloucester did, but that's pretty much what the kiddies' Freelords an Kiddiemasters would claim for themselves, if they were up to par, bestembrightnesswise. Incidentally, Dr. Warburton scored a preëmptive bull's-eye on the kiddiecons' dearly belovèd "American Exceptiionalism," for plainly what the Kindermeister of America's Otherparty mean when they bark thereof is that it would simply be a waste of time for Lesser Breeds Without to bring the Doins of Yoo "to imitation". Moreover, weaker siblins inside the Yoo Family itself would be wastin their freelordly time attemptin to bring Yooish Self-Exceptionalism to the ever-benighted LBW by way of "example."

In short, the Daughters of Virtue & Sons of Wisdom (LLC) are not bound by anybooby's precedent, NOT EVEN BY THEIR OWN. !Virile ganders indeed are their freelordships!

Whereas we silly geese ought (I guess) either (A) be cooked an served with old-fashioned Precedent Sauce, or maybe just (B) malignly neglected. Kicked out of the kitchen altogether, that is, as soon as Fabulous Fernie Fehrnstrom or the Holy Rovan Empire bouncer b'hoys can russle up enough votes to perform that operation. (No need to hold one's breath just at the moment, though perhaps one might want to check back in the summer of A. R. 1437-2016-5776 .)

B'hessy Staff, an her freeladyship's Employin Corporation, ultimately the very Fearless Funders of Freedumb Themselves, utterly do not give a hoot what R. B. Cheney did or didn’t. "!History is bunk!" an "!!That was then, this is NOW!!" bark the Republicanines.

From outside the mon[k]ey house, though, a noticer may notice that Yoo Family values are not a matter of Nature (DNA an dermography) alone, that Nurture comes in as well to shore up the pious whightist baloney. Especially the H*rv*rd Victory School M. B. A. or "Big-Managerial" subspecies of nurture.

As Eye and Paddy remarked in passing above, the Kiddie Selfservative Movement (KSM) implicitly set up their own Konstitution in place of that bequeathed to the rest of US by Mr. Madison and the Gang of Eighty-Seven. The freelordly an kiddiemagesterial documentoid differs from the real thing mainly by subtraction, and the subtraction is by no means at random. Rather it tends to yank out everythin the mind of the whight-winged nutbat has trouble graspin, notably the Legislative and the Judiciary as original-intented. Since 'tis HVS MBA-think that has nurtured the mind of the whight-winged nutbat, insofar as the latter is intellectually presentable, it cannot possibly be an accident that the Heroes an Role Models of America's Otherparty, the BigManagers, that is, of secret-sector business corporations, never encounter anythin much like a Legislature or a Court in their freelordship's daily wheelin an dealin.

Whereas these freelordships do not merely 'encounter' an executive at ScrogeBank or Warbucks Defense Widget, a sayer can truly say "!Executive 'R' Them!"

Executive 'R' ... all virile whightist ganders simply as such.

Passin laws an then applyin them to particular disputes is pretty wimpy stuff, ?no es verdad? Your REAL redstate-bloody Republicanine prefers, both naturally an nurturally, to leave all that soggy jazz to others. Take Party Neocomrade (fourth grade) Fedguv Senator J. W. DeMint of SC, who happens to be in the news at the moment for havin belatedly noticed that 'tis better to reign over Heritagitarians than serve under a PNC-5 McConnell. (Not to mention under Tio Ruperto de Newscorp y Wallstreet-Jingo)

We ourselves will, very likely, soon be promoting this Neoconfederate freelordship to PNC-3. Unless, that is, HFL DeMint somehow manages to make a total hash of heritagitation an propaganda. Which we hope, rather than expect, will be the case.

Even PNC-2 is not utterly out of the question, eventually, for we are reliably informed that President-Elect DeMint ... introduced 35 bills in this Congress, everything from a National Right to Work Act to a ban on future IMF bailouts for struggling countries. None of his bills became law. He was a marketer, a recruiter—not a legislator. He never pretended otherwise."

That is to say, his freelordship seems never to have been in serious danger of succumbin to LIS, legislative imbecility syndrome. Promotion to PNC-1, however, remains out of the question. To qualify for that exalted rank, or for Tio Ruperto's firstlordly PNC-0, a Party neocomrade must have kept her skirts unspotted by never, ever (NEVER EVER) havin taken a salary or consultin fee or commission or tip from The Wicked State. Your truly top-drawer freeladyship must furthermore not have betrayed the cardinal Yoo Family values ol illiberalism an antidemocracy so shamelessly as to run for electoral office. By doin that, a wingnutette (or wingnut) implicitly recognizes that it may be OK after all to just count votes instead of weighin em carefully in the Scales of Calhoun™.

"Democrat Party" demonocracy is only more icky sauce for silly geese, no better than lettin Union Thugs, even Comrades Alinsky and Nader, participate in the Big Management of the secret-sector business corporation. !Out of the question that anybooby tainted even in the slightest be advanced to the very top of the Whightberg!

President -- ?POTHEF? -- DeMint will sparkle resplendently enough a couple of levels down the toting pole. The kiddiecons, an even their Kiddiemasters, cannot ALL be Adelsons or Murdochs or Aileses or Koch Siblins or . . . .

Or, for that matter, Fabulous Fernie Fehrnstroms. Why, at The Frathouse Fishwrap itself, even, not everybooby can be a Massa Howie; darn few can be even a Rachelle Freifrau von Robichaud-Chabot or "BHEssy Staff."

"Take but DeMint away, untune THAT string, / And, hark, what D'Souza follows! Each thing meets / In mere oppugnancy . . ."

-- an that's just for starters!

Happy days.

[*] It would be a little less clunky to bellow "¡The secrecy of the Secret Sector!" roughly in the rough tone which Comrade Arnold's patients or victims in Culture and Anarchy adopted to go on about themselves, self-considered as embodying "the Protestantism of the Prod Religion."

On the other hand, from a disatance, at least, it looks as if 'secretarianism', so to chrissing it, is one thin an Big Management sensu stricto another. ¿Does a Party Neocomradess become "an executive" simply by virtue of bein in irresponsible an unaccountable control over this or that, even when her freeladyship happens to be utterly uninitiated into the colourblind arts of "Business Administration"?

Further research seems advisable.

(( Concluding unscientific postscript ))
Happy days.

16 November 2012

Maurice-the-Pooh Perfesser Defends Neocharitable Givin

Election loser may win
By Alan Feld | Friday, November 16, 2012 | http://www.bostonherald.com | Op-Ed

Although he lost the election, Mitt Romney’s tax-cap proposal may be a rare bipartisan winner as Congress and the White House wrestle with how to avoid the fiscal cliff — which makes it useful to understand just who might gain and who might not under such a tax reform plan. ((...)) Taxpayers ... have discretion to determine how much they give to charity in any particular year. Studies show that the charitable contribution deduction operates as an additional incentive to give. Discovering you get no deduction for the amounts that you give because the cap has already filled up with your home interest and taxes eliminates that incentive and means that less money will flow to charity. And as charities rely heavily on the philanthropy of the wealthy, a deduction cap could reduce the flow of funds to worthy causes.

Michie ? +10 0

Eliminating the deduction on charitable donations could be devastating to some truly needy people. If there is no longer a deduction what would be the incentive for some of these charities to continue? I guess the "rich" would be exposed. The ones that were serious about charity would continue (at a much lower rate) and those that were doing it just for the deduction would slowly wind down until they disappear.

Posted 10 hours ago ((11/16/2012 17:04))

It might cheer the peanut-gallery peanut up to think about what sort of charities an 'charities' the Fearless Funders of Freedumb an lesser richvolks actually go in for nowadays.

To say "The needy need not apply" would be an exaggeration, though probably we'll be getting to that eventually.

The trouble is (as Paddy McTammany diagnoses) that Ebb Scrooge, an Ollie Warbucks, an Mittius Coriolanus Pompo, an Messrs. les frères Koch, an most all The Classmates™ from sea to whinin sea do not wish their benefactions to be used against them. The world is so full of unprofitable thins to throw money at that, with only a modicum of care, their freelordships can be reasonably sure they are at least not subsidizin the Very Bad Poor, volks who will take whatever is available, handoutwise, and then ungratefullÿ go vote for "the Democrat Party."

Next come the Not-Quite-So-Bad (or nonvotin) Poor, of whom there are godzillions visible en masse, obviously, but with whom it is difficult to be quite sure about the whighteousness of any individual specimen. Their freelordships do not often simply hand out Fedguv Reserve notes in Spiro Agnew Brand (®) paper bags, of course; that old-fashioned plan would quickly get their freelordships' CPA's in trouble with Uncle Sam and Aunt Iris, whose pointy-headed bureaucrats get a big kick out of sayin NO to their predestined Betters. Unfortunately there are a lot of organizations out there who can pass themself off technically as Corporate Citizenesses of the non-profit subspecies but who, apart from ensuring that old Ebb, an young Ollie, an all The Classmates in between get their larceny mitigation, might as well be paper bags, handing out the boodle indiscriminately. On the basis of 'need', that is, need as unilaterally and preemptively evaluated by nonprofiteers from a nonprofitarian perspective quite alien to holders of M.B.A. degrees from the H*rv*rd Victory School and lesser seminaries of Mammon.

Not bein TOTAL boobs, Ebb an Ollie an Coriolanus Pompo an the gang are more an more takin self-protective an Class-protective countermeasures. Of these the three best ways to make sure one's handouts fall into the whight hands are as follows:

(A) to give by way of institutions of dogmatic mythology. This plan will work better for Coriolanus Pompo of Deseret than for most of The Classmates. Romans, in particular, must watch out that wild-eyed "preferable-option" Jesuits and similar theol@@ns do not accidentally get funded. (To insist on a preferable option of one's own for LOCAL institutions of dogmatic mythology ought to do the trick, ¿no es verdad?)

(B) Of the old-fashioned secular Wunnerbread charitier, so to call em, the ones that Ozzie an Harriet used to give to back before the whole world went bananas, the best bet (from a 2012 freelordly perspective) is Dread Diseases. Hopefully the ultimate recipients will not soon be so fully recovered as to go out to the polls any time soon. Even if they do, though, Ebb an Ollie an Coriolanus Pompo can reflect that (most) D. D.'s are quite as likely to befall noble Dives as that bum Lazarus. There may be a good deal more "collateral benefit" than their freelordships would ideally prefer, but what's in curin cancer, potentially, for Number One is plain enough.

(C) The cuttin edge of neocharity appears to be the Warrior Community, formerly known as 'veterans'. Bein themselves either flat-out chickenhawks or, in far smaller numbers, members of the WhightGuard Officers Mess, their freelordships perhaps overestimate the propensity of other ranks to vote whight, but if that be a mistake, it is at least a mistake that nearly everybooby makes. Probably not a mistake at all: given that their freelordships have to channel their selfgenerosity through some sort of formal organization or risk not gettin the deduction, the W.C. really is probably the best available philanthropic specuvestment this side of Salt Lake City.

A carper might carp that givin mostly to Warriors wanders quite a long way from need-basin, inasamuch as The Wicked State does an awful lot of it with the VA and whatnot.

This consideration, sound enough in itself, cuts both ways, it seems to Paddy. In fact Ol Ebb an young Ollie an Coriolanus Pompo could be said to "hit the trifecta" here, by one single coup of specuvestment obtainin (1) the deduction, (2) a strong positive balance of electoral support from beneficiaries, an (3) a chance to prove yet again that anythin Sam and Iris can do, the Secret Sector can do better.

In fact, Warrior boostin is so nifty a plan that one is slightly amazed that their freelordships did not think of it many years ago.

(( Q. ¿Can it be that the HVS M.B.A. is overrated? A. ¡No, of course not! ))

Happy days.

P.S. None of the above has very much to do with the 'reform' Party Neocomrade (sixth grade) A. L. Feld ("¿Quién?") was scribblin bout Paddy and Eye were just following Mister Poster as he jumped the track, though, so don't blame US.

The Fehrnstrom Fishwrap really shoulda told us who this freelordship is, namely

Alan L. Feld
Maurice Poch Faculty Research Scholar
Professor of Law
B.A., magna cum laude, Columbia University
J.D., cum laude, Harvard Law School

Interests: tax law; corporate law; law and the arts; nonprofit organizations; energy law and policy

The Pooh Perfesser is but one of an amazin horde of (soundly whightist) Tertiary Educationalisers whom the Fishwrap started trottin out about ten minutes after Senator Fehrnstrom's re-election gee-hod miscarried. Kindermeister von Wolf's credentials are functionally indistinguishable from those of Senator-Elect Fauxchahontas -- an, for that matter, even closer to those of Barák Husâyn O'Bàma, POTUS of us all.

But Wally Wombschool an Cindy from Wasilla probably would not have noticed even if their Party organ had identified his freelordship properly at the bottom of his piece. 'Tis not the sort of piece, after all, that most selfservative kiddies are likely to make it to the bottomline of.

19 October 2012

Iodáil go bragh!

Dear Dr. Bones,
This is basically just a hunk of raw meat that Eye and Paddy tossed into the monkey house.

What went wrong?

Surely the Athens of Suffolk County OUGHT to be Massa Howie’s plantation every election day without exception, an most weekdays in between. Yet here is Himself admittin, out loud an whight in front of the assembled Fehrnstrom Fishwrap bratpack, that some outlandish Person of Pasta is in even better than Flynn: "Mumbles Menino is mayor for life, literally."

What, Eye asks again (and Paddy joins in too), went wrong?

How comes it that the Fearless Funders of Freedumb cannot simply have Fabulous Fernie Fehrnstrom pull a few switches an send out a few operatives an then -- hey, presto -- Boston once again marches behind a Leader, a Cuchulainn, a Wolfe Tone, a Mary or Joe McCarthy! A Man (Person) of the People worthy of the Plain People of Ire Land, who just recently rose in wrath to recover their Fedguv Senate SEAT an hand it over to . . . ta-DAAH .... Fernie an Fernie’s Funders, to whom of course it belongs by sheer whight of purchase.

Where did the P. P. of I. L. go wrong?

Who ordered this Iodáil go bragh baloney? [*]

The theory that His Honor (a. k. a. "Erin’s Shame") earned the nickname ’Mumbles’ by being the last person on his block who remembered much of the Gaelic is twice too cute a hoe to be quight whight. Three times too cute.

Such questions are best left rhetorical, Eye expects. Jesting Paddy would probably do well not to stay and dabble in pserious answers. Still, mostvolks above wombschool level can probably work out from the above calisthenics that Paddy and Eye would begin by looking into that question of questions,


And then after that, "To whom was Menino marketed?"

Massa Howie appears to be thinkin along similar lines with Paddy McTammany for once.[**] Oh, well, even a stuffed crock is whight two minutes daily.

Freedumb, O men (persons) of NeoAthens, is not the only thing that can get itself funded in our town! In what yoostabe Ourtown.

Para despedirme de Vds. les deseo felices días

[*] Hmm: ¿Do you suppose, Dr. Bones, that this could be where ’yodel’ comes from?
[**] "Mumbles has $608,000 in the bank right now. His fundraising machine is just that, a machine. He touches everything in the city but the third rail. Here are his numbers for the past four months: September — $24,875; August — $28,725; July — $42,400; June — $28,220."
Genteel sneers at "just that, a machine" come oddly from a Howard Louis (?) Laurence (??) Carr with the fake-prole scab shtyk. No doubt the real trouble is that the Daughters of Virtue & Sons of Wisdom (L.L.C.), whose coremost principle of principles is precisely Whight of Purchase, somehow cannot muster up a mechanism to buy their freelordships a path around ‘Mumbles’.

That inability, in turn, is basically the fault of St. Bridget of the Lace Current (formerly "Marjorie Eagan"). Now that Her Beatitude has moved to the suburbs, it appears, plain as day, that H. B. could care less who rules the roost in Boston proper. If Massa Howie an the rest of the whight-noise fundees of Freedumb were to go around successiully touchin all the expatriates from Louisdayhicksville inside 495 for even just one buck ($0.99) apiece monthly, His Honor would think Vesuvio had erupted under him. But this is quite impossible.
"The Irish, sir, are a FRUGAL people. They never specuvest on any number but Number One."
Happy days.

04 October 2012

Fabulous Fernie Rides to the Rescue

Dear Dr. Bones,

We have in the world ... lemme see ... (1) liars, (2) damn liars, (3) Mittius Coriolanus Pompo,

Fabulous Fernie Rides to the Rescue
(( ¡Help is on the way! ))

and, above all, (4) Senator Fehrnstrom of Fratbochusetts.

Fabulous Fernie has set himself up against the three cognate subclasses in a most remarkable way. Especially remarkable in a "respectable, cloth-coat Republican"ine, who will not gain from his capers personally at all. There is no self- profitability that Eye and Paddy can detect, anyway.

Top Romney Adviser: States Will Have To Cover People With Pre-Existing Conditions Under President Romney
Brian Beutler | October 3, 2012, 11:30 PM

After the first presidential debate at the University of Denver in Colorado on Wednesday night, one of Mitt Romney’s top advisers acknowledged that, as a result Romney’s plan to repeal Obamacare, people with pre-existing medical conditions would likely be unable to purchase insurance.

The admission directly contradicts the GOP candidate’s claim during the debate that “pre-existing conditions are covered under my plan” — a contention Romney has repeated on the trail and that his campaign has repeatedly walked back.

“With respect to pre-existing conditions, what Governor Romney has said is for those with continuous coverage, he would continue to make sure that they receive their coverage,” said Eric Fehrnstrom, referring to existing laws which require insurance companies to sell coverage to people who already have insurance, or within 90 days of losing their employer coverage.

Pressed by TPM’s Evan McMorris-Santoro, Fehrnstrom said those who currently lack coverage because they have pre-existing conditions would need their states to implement their own laws — like Romney’s own Massachusetts health care law — that ban insurance company from discriminating against sick people.

“We’d like to see states do what Massachusetts did,” Fehrnstrom said. “In Massachusetts we have a ban on pre-existing conditions.”

Romney’s plan, of course, became the model for Obamacare — a fact Obama happily reminded Romney and debate watchers Wednesday night.

Eye takes for granted that His Mass. Excellency, the Master of Seamus and Stepmaster to Miss Rafalca, will have been as surprised by this as eyeself am. Paddy, however, wonders whether the WhightGuard High Command might not be doing it on purpose, by ‘it’ meaning a general system in which Mittens proposes, but Fernie disposes. In the sense, at least, that a Fehrnstromoid version of "¡Jam tomorrow!" is much closer to what a cabal of baincappers installed at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue would actually send aloft to be shot down in Congress.

While canvassing exotic possibilities, perhaps one should consider the possibility, just for practice in the possibility-considering art, that H. M. E. is the one tellin’ us frankly what the Baintrust have in mind for their dupes an‘ their marks, with poor Fernie [1] commissioned only to tell a few ancillary fibs. Though that arrangement sounds fantastic, there would be a certain point to it. Our baincappin’ Betters would not be in power six months (¿six weeks?) before it looks like the Confidence Fairy, that fickle-wingèd lady, decides that on the whole she does NOT care to reside permanently in the White House basement, stalled next to Miss Rafalca. The non-backwater press would start piling on. At that juncture, to toss Fabulous Fernie off the back of the snowjobmobile might be quite sensible. Given a little preparation in advance, such as this present is hypothesized to be, the Abusers of America could just say (on a Wednesday), "No, what Senator Fehrnstrom told you all ’bout "¡Jam tomorrow!" was not whight. We really did mean "¡Jam starting Thursday!" all along. The first Thursday, that is, after House and Senate have passed the legislation, an’ His POTUSsal Magnificence has signed it."

The gimmick being, of course, that such passage is highly improbable. Coriolanus Pompo would announce in His Excellency’s accustomed Style that the bill He just handed over to the von Böhners und von Kantors und von McConnells includes "full coverage of patients with pre-existing conditions," with this language understood exactly the way the meanest intelligence would understand it. H. P. M. would omit to mention, naturally, that nobody would be more flabergasted than Himself, should anythin’ of the sort survive the Capitol Hill wreckin’ crew.

After the lieberal gesture dies in due an’ utterly anticipated course, when some bleedin’-heart whiner from the non-backwater media wants to know what happened, His Magnificence can simply take the line that after all He tried, ¿did He not? Plus optionally remark plaintively how much He wishes that everybooby would recognize that He is really not half as bad as somevolks (like for example Senator Fehrnstrom) have made Him out. In fact, Coriolanus Pompo would have achieved the whole badness that He original-intented as regards wardin’ off the Patient Protection menace, but at the same time look, to all but attentive students of neocomradology an’ the Classmates for whom He is doin’ concrete favors as promised, like Mr. Nice Guy struggling in vain with forces beyond merely human control.

As American D*cl*ne (Pat. Pend.) continues and accelerates, that will be a very attractive way to look. True, it is not entirely to be reconciled with boilerplate Republicanine barks an’ bellows ’bout Rugged Responsibility-Takin’ Individualism. RRTI made sense--sort of, ethics and criticism once safely trashbagged--on the upwards side of the

USA Trajectory 1776-2162
(( USA Trajectory 1776-2162 ))

national parabola, but now that we are slipping ever downwards, there is much to be said for "Well, ¡it’s certainly not MY fault!" The number of things that nobooby sane will care to take credit for is bound to grow and grow: that is what the word ‘d*cl*ne’ means.

Bein’ both a Cranbrook an’ a double-barrel H*rv*rd ’75, His Mass. Excellency is no doubt capable, on the mere I. Q. side, of foreseein’ American D*cl*ne (Pat. Pend.) an’ then takin’ appropriate measures of the sauve qui peut sort for Himself an’ for His Classmates. Also for Miss Rafalca, whom we may take as emblematic of a limited entourage of poor relations an’ clients an’ ol’ buddies surroundin’ the Serene House of Rombacare. Most of the hired-hand operatives would not, I suppose, make the cut in a crunch. "Sorry, Fernie."

Happy days.

[1] Regardless of the dubious immediate context, it does look as if ‘poor’ Fernie does not really count for much over to the Romney Hills Livery Stables. Runnin’ S. Philip Fratboy ought to be enough to keep Fernie busy, though I daresay there are limits to hiow much fabulosity can be attained by that route.

03 October 2012

The Organization Fratboy

Where’s Scott’s Organization? Sign of Weakness Should Encourage the Rogue Supporters
eb3-fka-ernie-boch-iii   |   Tue, Oct 2, 2012 4:56 PM EST

I think this is a good question. The Democratic party has a very impressive door-knocking operation underway. Anything comparable from Bob Maginn?  Hello?  Bueller? - promoted by david

Maybe that’s what caused the anxiety in his voice last night.  He saw Scott Brown signs tied to fences.  Not in hands like the scores of Warren sign holders.

Where are the fans from two years ago?  What the hell is happening here?  He’s a U.S. Senator and he can’t turn out the bodies for a simple pre-debate sign holding. Tim Murray could do this blind folded.

Where are the headquarters overflowing with volunteers.  What about the canvassing and phone calls? What happened?  What’s changed in two years?  Why can’t Scott get it going?

There’s More…   ::   Discuss: 11

Before attempting to respond to the cerulæan nobility and gentry on their own elevated plane, Dr. Bones, allow me to wonder exactly whom His Blueship has in mind when he speaks of "Rogue Supporters."
Presumably H.B. does not mean us to think of the little lady from the BIG UNIVERSITY as any sort of roguess.  But then, if Fabulous Fernie’s Charlie McCarthy be the ‘rogue’ in question,  Eye and Paddy somehow got the impressin that His Blueship doesn’t think there are a whole lot of ’em to be found.
But that is by the way,

But it is still there, ¿is it not?, Senator Fehrnstrom’s organization?

(( fold here ))
 Why, as you can see,

_Fishwrap_ e-front 03OCT12
(( your massage will appear here ))

¡Paddy just [10/03/2012 03:43] linked to it meself with no trouble at all!

But seriously,  Fabulous Fernie does seem to be campaignin as if The Fehrnstrom Fishwrap customer base were all his fair-haired little laddie needed, a preach-to-the-choir strategy which compels one at last to think that maybe Fernie is not quite as bestembright as he looked.  In retrospect, one sees that natural, in context, comparisons with the Friends of Senator Coakley up on their Great Blue Hill, hard by the Palace of Public Tubavision,  will have made Citizen Fehrnstrom look more like Nicky Mach or Thurlow Weed

Machiavelli, Fehrnstrom, Weed
(( Masters of Mass. Manipulation ))

  than is strictly warrantable.

30 September 2012

Intellectual Bottom Demystified at Last

Dear Dr. Bones,

Paddy and Eye just spotted what must be the Pluperfect Warrenite, that is to say, a Blue Blazer in love with the little lady from the Big University


for precisely everything that makes her so cringeworthy, all the way down to le scientisme prétendu sociale. ¡"Affect Heuristic," for Pete's sake!

New poll has Warren up 43-38
oceandreams | Sun, Sep 30, 2012 9:06 AM EST

"MORE CHEROKEE" JUST SHOOK UP THE RACE. Or not. At least not yet. - promoted by charley-on-the-mta

Boston Globe poll conducted by University of NH shows Elizabeth Warren leading Scott Brown 43 to 38. Survey was conducted Sept. 21-27, so this was post-debate for all respondents but NOT post Tomahawk chop video for all respondents.

Oddly, the story on Boston.com calls this within the +/- 4.4% margin of error, even though they’re reporting a 5 percentage point difference.

A Obama+Brown vote is basically nullification(3+ / 1-) View voters

A.) You support President Obama and you like most of his ideas and you would like to see Congress pass legislation he backs.

B.) You vote for a guy who wants to obstruct and block most of the legislation at the top of the President’s agenda.
So you want your Senator to work to nullify the good stuff the President that you support wants to pass? W.T.F. is the point?

tblade @ Sun 30 Sep 10:49 AM

Tblade,(2+ / 0-) View voters

Without thinking it through some voters seem to have a “balance” fetish. They deliberately split their tickets because they consider themselves moderate because they fear our government will lurch too far to the left or right if Democrats or Republicans respectively hold all the power. Unfortunately, recent experience seems to show they might be right about Republicans, but Democrats tend to balance themselves out just fine. This theory of voting also assumes, erroneously these days, that both parties are interested in working together in good faith. Senator Brown has not proven himself to be the cure for this as he is too much a follower and not enough leader. His ad featuring Worcester Councilor Connie Lukes has her saying, “We need more Scott Browns” and theoretically that might work and voters I think long for that. Maybe things would be different if Scott Brown rather than Mitch McConnell were Senate Republican Leader, but alas for better or worse that is not the case.

christopher @ Sun 30 Sep 11:59 AM>

Affect Heuristic(0+ / 0-) View voters
I am going to say basically what you said but in a different way.

People so strongly want to believe that they are politically “independent” and look down on people who tend to vote across party lines.

“I am an independent” > Scott Brown is an independent (his commercials and campaign repeatedly tell me so > I will vote for Scott Brown to prove my independence! > I will vote for both President Obama and Scott Brown to further reinforce in my own mind that I am independent.

The funny thing is that these types of “independent” voters seem to the same affect heuristic method that many people who identify as “Democratic” or “Conservative” use to pick their preferred candidates.

tblade @ Sun 30 Sep 2:24 PM

Ad quos responduisset Patricius McTammany

One must hope, no doubt in vain, that "the Defect Heuristic" . . .
(( fold here ))

. . . happens whenever the epigones of Herr Prof. Dok. Talcott von Parsons undertake to settle the hash of volks not unlike themselves who get a major kick out of (ostensibly or ostentatiously) not looking down on othervolks.
Social Scientism being wertlos, I daresay they can do no other. Possibly, though, ¿They might occasionally stay home and do nothing at all? They could play canasta, perhaps, or charades, on Election Day with some of those self-thwarting heurists.
As Eye and Paddy should have expected, but culpably did not, Big LEW is a sucker for gunk like "heuristic affect." Not only do the Learnèd Elders of Wiki manage to expound the grand Begriff without the faintest hint of a snicker, they expound it as if it grows on trees, untouched by human thought. Certainly NOT invented or discovered by anybooby in particular at a particular time or place. "¡No history, please, we are self-scientisers!"
We who are not notice with delight (A) that High Prussian is the only other language in which LEW attempts to move this veddy, veddy up-market ideoproduct, and (B) even better, that before the paragraph wherein die Affektheuristik is defined winds, not especially weary, to the sea, the earnest customer has learned that Der Begriff und die grundlegenden Untersuchungen stammen von Paul Slovic. Who turns out to be only a Tert. Ed. Yank, but then, ¿What else could he be, flogging a horse like this one?
In any case, those who think in German rather than in HolyHomeland™ic are presumed to be geschichtefähig even by the nerdocracy. As with us Pseltic Tigers in non-academic matters, there is ag reat deal to be said for knowing FOR SURE that one belongs to an inferior subset.

Happy days.
[1] (( notes ))

(( Concluding unscientific postscripts ))
Happy days.

Title -- shortlink -- 09/30/2012 16:35 (( should be commented out ))

They ('We') are ALL Twits Now

Dear Dr. Bones,

Should you ever feel tempted to think too highly of us human racists, sir, a quick look at Twitter ought to set you straight:

At least 7 Warren signs stolen from yards in Scituate last night. Not just cowardly, also illegal.

Ad quem responduisset Patricius McTammany

‘Qui pauca considerat, facile pronuntiat’

(( fold here ))

The much-esteemed Blue Blazer gets far, far ahead of himself [1], and that on two fronts:

(A) Like many others of the nobility and gentry, and like pretty well everybody without exception down amongst the plebes and proles, His Worship supposes that the virtue of Courage to be somehow connected with thinking Worshipful thoughts, meaning that his political enemies need not apply. H. W. has presumably no idea WHO borrowed his like-minded neighbors ideological lawn decorations, all he knows for sure is WHY -- and even that conjecture could be mistaken, though this is admittedly most unlikely.

I daresay His Worship figures he can drag Lady Virtus into his partisanship on the basis that the danger of such a borrowing being interfered with either by the householders in person or by such secret- or public-sector police as the householders have engaged seems slight. Scituate being Scituate--$108,138.00 (2010)--the perps could rationally bet they would not collide with a huddle of trigger-happy gunclingers.

Had they been deliberately intendin to give their intrepidity a workoout, they could have stayed home at (let’s guess) Louisedayhicksville an amused themselves by prowlin the mean-spirited streets to collect mementoes of S. Philip Fratboy’s re-election campaign. Betcha the LDHV householders an/or Boston’s Finest would soon have put a stop to that caper!

It would not do formally to define virtus in a way that specifically invokes the Heroes in Blue [2] Nevertheless, anybooby who knows that her project might easily lead to a run-in with them is not to lightly diagnosed as a craven. The merits of the project have, of course, nothing to do with the case. Eye and Paddy doubt that even the Worshipful Nobility and Gentry would venture to insist on the contrary in the seminar room of a Prussian-style graduate school. Standards slip, however, when our Betters start thinking mostly with their thumbs.

One hopes, by the way, that H*rv*rd, at least, has banned nifty electronic playthings from the aforesaid seminar rooms. Tert. Ed. would do better to insist strictly on the technology of Century VIII-XV-LII-- the master to read out of his book and each student to listen attentively and wriite down her very own ktêma eis aiei, from which, eventually, her students . . . .--than to succumb to most of the more recent whizbangery. Paddy McTammany would draw the line right after the invention of the Xerox, though I am willing to haggle a little.

B. So much for ‘cowardly’. His Worship’s deployment of ‘illegal’ cannot be attacked root and branch, but it does displease a little at the margin.

One trouble is that what these perps did could very easily be represented, by your stick-at-nothing D*rsh*w*tz breed of defense shyster, as a form of ‘expression’ to which protection under Amendment I of the Fedguv Constitution ought to be extended at least as a courtesy, and preferably by a split decision from the Five of Nine. The slippery slope here is obvious enough: next thing you know, Paddy and Eye will be nabbed ‘borrowing’ goodvolks’ garden gnomes and idolatrous bathtubs under the pretext of engaging in Kulturkritik. Probably the best thing is to leave all that to the Zoning Board. But though that is easy to say, it is not easy at all to advise the august Zoners exactly how to proceed.

Worse, His Worship could be (but probably is not) deploying ‘illegal’ in the witless Planet Dilbert fashion: whatever the householders of Scituate or LDHV or Wherever Centre "do with their own property" is "nobody’s business but their own." They possess that absolute whight to "use, abuse and destroy" that Pipes Major attributed or misattributed to the mediæval civilians. To anybody who is at least as liberal and democratic as the late Comrade J. S. Mill this will be obvious tripe and baloney. To call it "self-regarding" when the neighbors of His Tweetship put up propaganda for Citizeness Warren in their front gardens that can be seen from a hundred metres off would be plumb dotty. They could have hung the damned things in the basement if their own private æsthetic appreciation had been the object of the exercise. Whatever taking them way may be, erecting them definitely was ‘expression’ under Amendment I. Even if D*rsh*w*tz, Esq., says so too, ¡Expression was it!

By Paddy’s lights, then, what the self-expressers have an absolute whight to is mostly contradiction. Trespassing is as illegal as petty larceny, but it might pass with us as legitimate civil disobedience to climb over the invisible fence and risk it with Fido the pitbull to (say) paint a moustache on the mug of the little lady from the Big University. Or, indeed, a feathered headdress.

Happy days.

[1] Our irrandomly chosen specimen of twattle comes from "Chris Matthews ?@chrismatth," whom we tentatively take to be an entirely different personage from the notorious MacL@@han-T@@ba virtuoso.

(( Might be kinda fun, though, if His Tweetship were only partially diferent from somebooby else. ))

Vice-Chair, Scituate Dems | Accountant/Organizer/Operative | Opinions here are my own, and a retweet is not an endorsement.
South Shore, MA · http://ChrisMatth.com
[2] A different shade of blue, obviously, from that which identifies the Worshipful Nobility and Gentry, unjoo-bito, who dwell above the clouds on the upper slopes of the Great Blue Hill, hard by the Palace of Public Tubavision on Market Street in Bestembrighton MA 02135.

(( Concluding unscientific postscript goes here ))

Happy days.