Iodáil go bragh!

Dear Dr. Bones,
This is basically just a hunk of raw meat that Eye and Paddy tossed into the monkey house.

What went wrong? Surely the Athens of Suffolk County OUGHT to be Massa Howie’s plantation every election day without exception, an most weekdays in between. Yet here is Himself admittin, out loud an whight in front of the assembled Fehrnstrom Fishwrap bratpack, that some outlandish Person of Pasta is in even better than Flynn: "Mumbles Menino is mayor for life, literally." What, Eye asks again (and Paddy joins in too), went wrong? How comes it that the Fearless Funders of Freedumb cannot simply have Fabulous Fernie Fehrnstrom pull a few switches an send out a few operatives an then -- hey, presto -- Boston once again marches behind a Leader, a Cuchulainn, a Wolfe Tone, a Mary or Joe McCarthy! A Man (Person) of the People worthy of the Plain People of Ire Land, who just recently rose in wrath to recover their Fedguv Senate SEAT an hand it over to . . . ta-DAAH .... Fernie an Fernie’s Funders, to whom of course it belongs by sheer whight of purchase. Where did the P. P. of I. L. go wrong? Who ordered this Iodáil go bragh baloney? [*] The theory that His Honor (a. k. a. "Erin’s Shame") earned the nickname ’Mumbles’ by being the last person on his block who remembered much of the Gaelic is twice too cute a hoe to be quight whight. Three times too cute. Such questions are best left rhetorical, Eye expects. Jesting Paddy would probably do well not to stay and dabble in pserious answers. Still, mostvolks above wombschool level can probably work out from the above calisthenics that Paddy and Eye would begin by looking into that question of questions, "WHO MARKETED MENINO?" And then after that, "To whom was Menino marketed?" Massa Howie appears to be thinkin along similar lines with Paddy McTammany for once.[**] Oh, well, even a stuffed crock is whight two minutes daily. Freedumb, O men (persons) of NeoAthens, is not the only thing that can get itself funded in our town! In what yoostabe Ourtown. Para despedirme de Vds. les deseo felices días

[*] Hmm: ¿Do you suppose, Dr. Bones, that this could be where ’yodel’ comes from?
[**] "Mumbles has $608,000 in the bank right now. His fundraising machine is just that, a machine. He touches everything in the city but the third rail. Here are his numbers for the past four months: September — $24,875; August — $28,725; July — $42,400; June — $28,220."
Genteel sneers at "just that, a machine" come oddly from a Howard Louis (?) Laurence (??) Carr with the fake-prole scab shtyk. No doubt the real trouble is that the Daughters of Virtue & Sons of Wisdom (L.L.C.), whose coremost principle of principles is precisely Whight of Purchase, somehow cannot muster up a mechanism to buy their freelordships a path around ‘Mumbles’.

That inability, in turn, is basically the fault of St. Bridget of the Lace Current (formerly "Marjorie Eagan"). Now that Her Beatitude has moved to the suburbs, it appears, plain as day, that H. B. could care less who rules the roost in Boston proper. If Massa Howie an the rest of the whight-noise fundees of Freedumb were to go around successiully touchin all the expatriates from Louisdayhicksville inside 495 for even just one buck ($0.99) apiece monthly, His Honor would think Vesuvio had erupted under him. But this is quite impossible.
"The Irish, sir, are a FRUGAL people. They never specuvest on any number but Number One."
Happy days.
--JHM