Bitter Betty

Dear Dr. Bones,

The following

LearJet Lizzie is the darling of the Hollywood elite. However in the real world, she has already exposed herself as just another "do as I say, not as I do" limousine liberal democrat. Bitter Betty Warren made an unrecoverable gaffe when she proudly claimed to be the founder of the universally loathed OWS Occupier movement. She will not be able to recover from this as US Senator Scott Brown (R-Massachusetts) will waltz to an easy victory over the Pampered Professor from Harvard in November.

was a big hit with the peanut-gallery peanuts over to Louisedayhicksville, with sixty-two thumbs up in nine hours. Probably that is not a record turn-out, but more thsan I recall ever having distinctly noticed. And fortunately for literary criticism, it scarcely matters what article Party Neocomrade (eleventh class) Hoo Fan Too (dba ‘whofan2’) is barkin’ ’bout. [1]

Amateur Tee Putty notions of "an unrecoverable gaffe" straight from the horse’s anatomy are bound to interest all neocomradologists, which is not to say that they are likely to be objectively valid. Hoo Fan Too does not get up off the potatoe couch an’ out of the shanty much, obviously, unless that "universally loathed" is a sneaky Jane Austen joke, than which few things are less probable. However, just lookin’ out the second-floor window at Louisedayhicksville or Rio Limbaugh would undoubtedly give that impression. There is no reason to doubt that pretty well everybooby Hoo Fan Too is on speakin’ terms with has nothin’ nice to say about Zucchini Plaza an’ the Deweyplatzbesetzer.

The problem for the Funders of Fratboy is that they had won the hearts an’ dittopans of the ULZ, Universal Loathin’ Zone, the instant they first filed election papers for Massa Scott. "However, in the real world," they needed to ’turf’bag a great deal more than the ULZ to buy their laddie the People’s Seat™ an’ doo down the fiendish Gen. Coakley. ‘Fishtown’ is not enough anymore, whightist populism needs to make at least a strong second-place showin’ in 02478 also. Around those parts, though there is probably lots of snobbery against the Occupoopers amongst such sections of the middLe class as know about them only from the MacL@@han tube, there is no loathing. [2]

What counts a "the real world," then, in the minds, or rather the dittopans, of the Tee Putty, if not Hollywood?

El dinero es muy católico, "Money is fungible." Comrade Cher can buy as much MacL@@han Tube time, dollar for dollar, for St. Elizabeth as can Baincappers, an’ Koch Siblin’s, an’ the _Herald_ angel Class generally, to defend the People’s Fratboy. Once the bucks are in hand, it does not matter whether the bush they grew on was ‘real’ or not.

Not that most T. P. wads are personally acquainted with either bold, baincappin’ Titans of Industry or pampered (_sic_) Élitists of the Silver Screen.

Even a Hù Phân Tú is, however, bound to have known a couple perfessers, which is why I suggest as a tentative hypothesis that the "hormonal foundation," to recoin a phrase [3], of all that loathin’ out there in the ULZ is chiefly a reaction by kiddie selfservatives against icky School. In terms of Volksontologie: Educationalism is the very model of unreality for Wally Wombschool an’ Cindy from Wasilla. (Also Hoo Fan Too from Chopstick Corners.)

Happy days.
--JHM

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[1] Party Neocomrade (sixth grade) J. X. Battenfeld, who seems a run-of-the-mill _Herald_ J-school fruit to this keyboard, surely cannot have been the first AstroTurf™bagger to pound it into Whoo Fan Too’s whight-haired little dittopan that Her Beatitude is not exactly just volks.

In fact, the PNC-6 JXB mechanism has already moved on to Lesson Two, which is not about Lizzy’s _élitisme_, thoroughly unmasked in Lesson the First, but about her out-of-commonwealth backers. You can see for yourself that Hoo Fan Too has nothin’ at all to say about that angle.

Nothing *yet*, that is: like the Roman Empire, or indeed the Chinee, Tee Putty is not compounded in a day. You might want to remind me a couple months hence to check whether the Funders of Fratboy have got through to him at last. The response of the rest of the pack to his stimulus suggests that the ’turf’baggin’ community ought to congratulate themselves on the success of their project up to 1 January 2012. It is simply too soon to judge subsequent agitproppin’.

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[2] When they are actually one’s own kids, loathing is quite possible, see the late Eugene O’Neill passim. That, however, is entirely another story.


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[3] Othervolks’ exact phraseology seems to elude Hú Phãn Tù. Her Beatitude never "claimed to be the founder of the universally loathed OWS Occupier movement," what she actually drooled went like this:

Elizabeth Warren is running for office in the most high-profile race in the country not involving Barack Obama. It’s a position that calls for some tact. So what does she think about the Occupy Wall Street protests that are roiling the country? “I created much of the intellectual foundation for what they do,” she says. “I support what they do.” Warren’s boast isn’t bluster: As a professor of commercial law at Harvard and the force behind Obama’s consumer-protection bureau, Warren has been one of the most articulate voices challenging the excesses of Wall Street. Still, she enjoys an outsize celebrity for an academic and bureaucrat.... (&c. &c.)

Quite bad enough to be getting on with, that is, without pretending she is Lenin Redux.