Dear Dr. Bones,
Your amateur Marshalls and homebrew Brandeises are distinctly more satisfactory
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when encountered playing for the other team. Fortunately the WhightGuard Officers Mess, vanguard an’
epicentre of lysdexic eno-conservatism, spreads a lavish smorgasbord. I like Rear-Colonel von Bielat and Freelord Tizzy best myself:
| Sean Bielat - Candidate in MA-4 "I am very disappointed in the Court’s ruling," Bielat said. "However, I am not discouraged. It’s critical we repeal ObamaCare and work toward real healthcare reform that does not cripple the nation’s economy, but rather supports job growth, competition and innovation... the White House chose to limit job growth and medical advancement exactly when our country needs it most...those are Two Pillars of American Prominence. I will fight for reform that boosts our economy, puts people to work, increases research and improves the quality of care. The President chose to ignore these goals." |
The posthonourable and neogallant freelord does not come very near jurisprudence, but I suspect that is just as well. Impatient of technicalities, this khakiclad sails whight to what I believe the CCUSA, and less august Funders, must decide is the eye of the storm, the POTUS of us all deliberately conspiring against "job growth, competition, innovation" plus, if the fiends have any time left over, against "medical advancement" as well.
Come to think of it, the Fingers of Fehrnstrom are probably better off to shtyk with that, an’ not insist that our poor Barry is trying to rip the Fedguv Constituition to shreds in addition. Sooner or later, even Wally Wombschool an’ Cindy from Wasilla, maybe even BoZo from EaBo, will start wonderin’ how even fiends can keep it up eighty-three hours a day. You’ll remember, Dr. Bones, that we donkeys notoriously never met a slacker we didn’t like.
In theory, I suppose St. Elisabeth of H*rv*rdy (for example) could go without food or sleep by præternatural--dæmonic--assistance so that all our EBT queens and affirmative basketcases hardly have to stir at all. Such a division of labor vaguely reminds of those "textbooks written by geniuses for idiots to understand" that the War Department supposedly cranked out from 1942 to 1945. Her Beatitude, especially as photographed by the much-esteemed Herald of Louisedayhicksville, does look a little as if she might have Faustian means of support. For that matter, Her Beatitude also gives Paddy and Eye, at least, the impression that with Herself hammering back to defend The Middle Class from icky special interests, everybody else who is pleased to consider himself mediocre can just sit back and watch the show. To rush out and wave one’s own rusty pitchfork at the dragon would be of no material assistance to St. George. If lots of bluevolks started doing it too, the resulting hubbub might even tip the correlation of farces over to Lord Freedragon an’
Massa Tom Donahue of the CCUSA.
The catch, though, is that our poor Barry at the top of the donkey ticket gives no such impression. Not exactly a ‘slacker’ is BHO, not even inexactly, but he does distinctly savor of Surtout, ¡pas trop de zèle!" Say maybe "No sweat" in the vernacular. If we assume, improbably, that poor Barry had no more idea than we did what Party Neocomrade J. G. Roberts, Jr., C. J., was up to, he must have prepared an elegant oration accepting the ‘temporary’ set-back with dignity and restraint and certainly no hint of even the most figurative and allegorical of pitchforks. Fortunately there was no occasion for that.
Unfortunately, there is not much sign of our poor Barry’s having had anything much to do with the nonoccasion. He is bound to say in retrospect that he knew all along there could be no constitutional objection of any significance. Counterfactual considerations can never prove otherwise, but, all the same, sure the Muses and yourself, Dr. Bones, agree with Paddy and Eye that the over-all impression is that our poor Barry plumb lucked out. We assume, along with pretty well the whole world, that the Five of Nine might easily have shot PPACA down, and, if they had, we would not, I think, be in a mood to congratulate our poor Barry on having done his total maximum utmost to ward off defeat.
| Richard Tisei - Candidate in MA-6 If anything is clear from today’s Supreme Court ruling it is that our leaders in Washington need to go back to the drawing board, and work together to pass a bi-partisan plan that will reduce rising health care costs and provide Americans with more access to affordable health care coverage. I believe that every American should have access to affordable health care and that every insurance plan should contain basic protections that provide health care security to every citizen of this nation. As a Congressman, I will bring that same spirit of cooperation to Washington and work with both Democrats and Republicans to pass legislation that provides incentives to states to create more choices and more coverage. Rather than a Washington-based "one size fits all" approach, I believe that every state needs to tailor a plan to their individual needs and that Americans should maintain control over their own healthcare decisions.... I will approach health care reform with the recognition that we currently have the best quality system in the world. Rather than overhauling our current system I believe that it makes much more sense to work to improve what we have." |
Paddy is irresistibly put in mind of a passage from St. Jack:
| Wither was slower to notice what was happening. He had never expected the speech to have any meaning as a whole and for a long time the familiar catch-words rolled on in a manner which did not disturb the expectation of his ear. He thought, indeed, that Jules was sailing very near the wind, that a very small false step would deprive both the speaker and the audience of the power even to pretend that he was saying anything in particular. But as long as that border was not crossed, he rather admired the speech; it was in his own line. Then he thought, "Come! That's going too far. Even they must see that rou can't talk about accepting the challenge of the past by throwing down the gauntlet of the future." |
¿What will Overhaul make of the Gauntlet of Improvement, thus boldly flung at his feet? ¡Tune in next week an’ find out!
The Freelord of Tizzy is an ornament indeed to the Freedumb, or Stupid, Party, but this hack is also free-dumb in distinctly an old-fashioned way. All that guff about a "spirit of cooperation in Washington" is so obsolete as to be neoheretical. Should Grover Firstlord Norquist learn that Neocomrade Tizzy still natters squishy-soft nonsense like that, his freelordship might well win a complimentary one-way ticket to the AEIdeological Correction Camp out near Feverswamp FL.
The only orthodox Otherparty boilerplate I detect is "we currently have the best quality system in the world," and even that is dubious. Not, of course, because it is egregiously not the case, but because the CCUSA, an' inferior Wreakers of Whighteousness, have not (I think) committed themselves to pretendin' that it is. A Tizzyoid "bi-partisan plan" is the very last thing that Hire-Up Otherpoliticians want to replace ‘Obamacare’ with, but it remains an open question whether their freelordships will be funded to replace it with anythin' whatsoever.
His freelordship may have been lured into lookin' even free-dumber this morning than most days by a vague inchoate brute-animal feelin' that the question remains open. Should the CCUSA neocomrades decide that the Otherparty Line ought to be "best-quality health-care system in the world," Tizzy can claim that he got there ahead of the crowd. If, on the other hand, their firstlordships eventually resolve on somethin’ less unreality-based, well, ¿Did not Party Neocomrade R. R. Tizzy expressly mention "work to improve what we have"? [*]
Things will be splendid for his freelordship, I guess, once the CCUSA makes up its Line, but meanwhile little Tizzy is stuck soundin' a bit like that popsong (or whatever it was) about "I love you. You're perfect. ¡Now change!"
Happy days.
--JHM
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[*] With a little easy shading and lighting, this Tizzy ploy could be made to look Machiavellian, by Party of Grant & Hoover standards, if not simpliciter. Perhaps, therefore, Paddy and Eye had better explain for those of them at Rio Limbaugh that we do not think his freelordship anythhin' like bestembright enough to have concocted this muddle deliberately.
The pious viennasausage about bipartisanship most likely comes from the S. Philip Fratboy Radio Theatre, as it were. The ElevenPercenters are completely unrepresented in the Fedguv House of Representatives, which means that a Party Neocomrade can holler "¡Buy Partisan!" when what he really means is "¡Please, MA, elect at least one of us harmless little fuzzball reactionaries this time around!" Should the goodvolks up in cousin-marriage country fall for it, the chances that there will be anythin' particulary ‘bipartisan’ about Freelord Tizzy's personal votin' record down at Potomac River City are, in our view, negligible. But Grover knows best.
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