Warren, Esq., v. Fratboy (Round 134)

Dear Dr. Bones,

Now that we have not St. Rick the Less to kick around any more, perhaps it is time to zero in on the ‘local’ talent:

How Party Neocomrade E. X. Fehrnstrom Licked the Massachusetts Machine (( fold here )) Not just once, but ¡Two times runnin’! Cultural Notes Le Radice d’Erba, by the young Esperanto composer Galeazzo Thorsdóttir Verdollino, received its New Iceland premiere at the Hasty Lizzard Club , 20 Quincy Street, Cambridge, last Friday evening, 401(k) Rajab 5772. Loosely based on a prose work of the Anglophone writer of Victorian Brooklyn (NY), W. X. Whitman, the title of which is sometimes translated as "Democratic Vistas," the libretto, composed in neomadrigals by the celebrated limericist Kim Well Sung, recounts the tragic destiny of a young professional woman who ... born ... OK ... TV ... greatest university in the county ... but then, in a passionate fit of ... designer carpet-bags ... betrayal ... disgrace ... ruin.

I trust you remember

Speron Sperone, thinking his ((Torquato Tasso’s)) exquisite work of Godfred to be too full of rich conceits, and more dainty than did become the gravity of such a work, said that it was a heroic poem written in madrigals.

"Massachusetts machine" is a more recondite allusion, unless you, most improbably, happen to be on the mailin' list of Funders of Fratboy, LLC. In that case you must already have laughed from

Dear Friends, I want you to know exactly what we are up against: Thanks to you and thousands of others, our campaign raised $3.4 million in the last quarter, but Professor Elizabeth Warren raised twice that amount: $6.9 million. How in the world could she raise so much? She is a far-left ideologue and her liberal friends from across the country are helping her: She has the Harry Reid Democrats, the Hollywood Crowd, the Far Left Juggernaut, the Occupy Wall Street Bunch, and the Massachusetts Machine raising money hand-over-clenched fist. This is the #1 Senate race in the country and our rival will have virtually unlimited money to burn. You have been a terrific supporter, (( ¿Eye have? )) but I wanted you to know what we are facing. Warren's fundraising is breaking every record! Will you help me again? Your online contribution will help stop Professor Warren's election to the U.S. Senate. WE MUST WIN (( &c. &c. ))

Paddy and Eye agtree that we could never top that effusion for sheer risibility, but Faculty-Lounge Lizzie’s operatives come pretty close with

(...) The Senator isn’t being a good sport about being outraised two-to-one in the last fundraising quarter. As you can read below, he’s labeling our supporters “insiders, celebrities, elites, occupiers, leftists” — and then makes some ridiculous excuses about why Elizabeth’s grassroots support is so strong. This email isn’t just an attack on Elizabeth — it’s an attack on all of us who are fighting for middle class families. We can’t make Scott Brown stop calling you names, but we can continue to outraise him. DONATE $50 RIGHT NOW TO HELP. Elizabeth didn’t just raise twice as much money as Scott Brown since January 1st — she did it with the support of tens of thousands of teachers, nurses, small business owners, students and retirees. The truth hurts ((&c. &c. ))

One laughs best, looks as if, at whichever of these crews one heard from last.

(( ADDENDUMB. Less unseriously, like all other references to "the middLe class" in Yank politics, that made above by the Little Friends of St. Elisabeth must be examined individually to ascertain just what the particular incompetent social analyst had in mind. Here we have a comparatively easy problem, though, because the grand mystery is in large measure resolved in the very next sentence. The Little Friends account themselves mediocre because they can afford to casually send fifty-dollar checks to the vociferously needy.

(( To be sure, an annual salary or gross net-worth cut-off point would be even better, but ¿Why complain, when most of the time one is left completely in the dark? ))

Happy days.
--JHM